Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
To grow spiritually we must be trying constantly to change ourselves. Spirituality is not something that can be grafted onto us from without — a “halo” we can fashion and put on our heads.
It comes from a continual, day-by-day, patient endeavor and a relaxed sense of surrender to the Divine. It isn’t that suddenly the light of God descends on us and makes us instant saints. No; it is a daily effort to change ourselves and to surrender heart, mind, and soul to God, in meditation and in activity….
“As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.”Denis Waitley
So I had forwarded this email to everyone on my list stating that this has got me wondering and it really started a tiff in my own mind amongst my varied thoughts. I mentioned in the email that I know I can forgive, But I cannot let go or forget some things so easily!
Is it Different? Is it Same? Or Is it..that I haven’t forgiven Completely?
The most amazing responses that I received from so many of my friends were just very interesting to read. Here they are:
I think that there are levels of forgiveness, and if we still harbor something about the person or situation that feels uncomfortable, I think our forgiveness is not yet complete. I had a revelation this week; I never felt like I held grudges against those that had hurt me, but I was still questioning, why, why? To me, that is a level of not yet forgiving. And, the longer we don’t forgive, or forget, the worse we make it on ourselves, even more than the other person.’
I hope this helps
I agree with you… So many times..I feel, I have forgiven but never forgotten….don’t know what is it…whether forgiven or is it just the idea of having forgiven….
Honestly I sail in the same boat…..I can forgive, but not forget!! 😛
Its like, for that moment, I have nothing in my mind and not even later until some one really disturbs me beyond a point do I remember what had happened earlier, but I don’t know if that doubles my irritation….not that I know of for sure!
This is a funny thing and left me also in a dilemma many times but then in forgiveness it may mean that you do what good you can to others but be wary of being taken for granted and then when that happens you can still do good but may not be as much because we are all humans after all.
But never do bad, that’s the essence.
We are all humans at the end of the day. Unless you want to be next to God.
On a more serious note, I think that if one forgives a person (not necessarily forgets what happened) that means he has moved on. The (unfortunate) event has stopped bothering him and he will not be vindictive. In a way, he takes a neutral stand which is good enough. The person may remember what happened but that may not affect him (for me this is forgiveness).
I would also remember things but only as a lesson of life nothing really more than that. Maybe here it would really help if after the happening of an event, we perhaps distance ourselves from it and observe it with an outsiders view. We may be in a position to judge it more objectively and then it would be easier to come to terms with it. That’s my take on the issue.
In my Opinion… you cannot completely forget no matter if you have forgiven or not.
But what it means is if can you recall the event and not feel the same level of hurt / pain / anger etc… then you have been successful in forgiving and forgetting…the forgetting part is more a absence of the experience you first felt. you may remember how it hurt and it will stay with you forever.
For Example: If you can recall the Mumbai Serial Bomb Blasts and if you don’t feel the same level of anger / hurt / pain as you felt before; then I believe you have Forgiven and Forgotten to a large degree…
Its one of the ‘not so easy’ traits to have…What’s your take?
Well I agree here with you …by forgiving someone it make you feel light…but even I will not forget…
What’s your take folks?